Monday, August 1, 2016

There Has Been an Awakening...

Ah, my friends, much has happened since I last put fingers to keyboard. I attended Celebration Anaheim, I went on an epic hunt on Force Friday, we had a brand new Star wars movie that exceeded all my expectations, we are approaching the first non-saga stand alone Star Wars film, and finally, I got married.

With all of that, you might see why I have not sat to write in more than a year. But as we get older, life becomes about priorities. For the last year, everything I listed above, along with sitting on my butt playing Star Wars Battlefront, have been the priority. However, the nice thing about priorities is that they can change and evolve, so I believe it is time for this to move up on the priority scale and for me to re-enter a larger fandom.

This blog has been a way for me to explore my Star Wars fandom and try and connect with the larger world. Unfortunately, there has been so much negativity in fandom, especially over the past couple of years, that I honestly lost a desire to connect.

I am an older Star Wars fan. I am 48 years old and one of the OT generation. I was 9 years old when A New Hope came out in theaters and I was hooked from the moment that Star Destroyer flew overhead. I loved Star Wars and I loved talking to anyone else who liked it. Back in those days, there was no internet (I'll give the younger readers a few minutes to let that sink in), so you generally found other kids who liked Star Wars and you would talk about it, argue about it, play with the action figures and just love Star Wars. That was fandom to me; sharing a love of something with others who loved it just as much.

After Return of the Jedi, it seemed that fandom would eventually fade out and die. I hung in there during those dark times, trying to get my hands on any Star Wars merchandise that actually made it's way onto shelves. Then the novels were published and a new era began. Books, home video releases and finally announcement of the prequels. This new invention, the internet, made it possible to connect with even more people who loved Star Wars. It seemed we were about to enter a golden age of fandom.

Then everything changed.

The prequels, while overwhelming commercial successes, were met by some, especially those of my generation, with a certain amount of disdain. From what I have been able to gather over the years is that the movies didn't make people feel the way they did when they were 9. Or else they were not the way that people had imagined the story in their mind. Or one of a thousand other reasons. George Lucas, once almost worshiped, was suddenly public enemy number one for not delivering a movie exactly as people thought it should be. This new invention called the internet made it possible to spread that hate very far and very quickly.

Things have not gotten better.

Instead, there now seems to be a certain element of fandom that feels that unless you think exactly like they do, like only what they like and agree with them 100% then you are not a "real" fan and should be shouted down or publicly shamed. There seems to be a sense of entitlement that doesn't sit well with me. Lucasfilm decided to reboot the old Expanded Universe and make those existing novels "Legends". This did not go over well with a small, loud minority and this was my first glimpse at the ugly side of what fandom had become. From online comments to actually disruption of panels at events, certain elements of the the bring back the EU crowd has harassed, attempted to intimidate and generally been an annoying pain in the ass to anyone who doesn't agree with them. I get their passion; to this day love the X-Wing series of novels. But you know what? When Lucasfilm rebooted things, no one came to my house to burn my copies of the books! They are still there! I can read them whenever I want! I can still enjoy them! The bring back the EU crowd says "well now they aren't canon!". I love this new obsession with what is "canon". I hate to tell these people, but none of these things actually happened! They only exist in the pages of books or on film. Make your own canon. If you love a certain series of books, make that part of your personal canon. If another story comes along to contradict it, SO WHAT? When I see a Star Wars blogger who quits because of the abuse he has taken for daring to disagree with these people, then that is when things have gone too far.

So why, given all of that, would I even want to try connecting with fandom again?

Good question, and one that I have pondered.

I guess it comes down to this; most fans are not like that. I really want to believe that the whining, entitled little dweebs are a small, but vocal minority. I want to believe that most fans are like the ones who I found myself waiting in lines with at Celebration. I met some of the coolest, most interesting and fun people while waiting in those lines. I want to believe that most fans are like the group of people that inhabit the Rebel Force Radio Facebook group; passionate fans who support each other and just want to share their love of the Wars. That group is made up of some of the best people I have met online. I am incredibly cautious about online interactions, but that group has helped restore some of my faith in fandom.

That is why I am back and attempting to expand my fandom again. Because I want to believe that if I put my love of Star Wars out there, no negativity, then that is what I will attract back to me. All I ever really want are friends who I can talk Star Wars with. They can love what they love and I will love what I love. Does that seem like a lot to ask?


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The Celebration Awakens

After two years of saving and countless days of waiting, tomorrow I board an airplane to head to Anaheim, California and Star Wars Celebration!

The travel is the worst part for me. Not a huge fan of flying, but nothing short of a Death Star will keep me from joining with 50,000 other Star Wars fans to celebrate the saga we all love.

I am super excited for all the panels I am going to try and attend, my shopping list is ready for the Celebration store, I even dove in and spent the money for the Mark Hamill autograph. Looking forward to seeing friends and making new ones.

Excited to see the stage hosts; James Arnold Taylor is simply the best. David Collins is always so much fun to listen to on Star Wars Oxygen and when he appears on RebelForce radio. And finally, Jason Swank and Jimmy Mac of RebelForce Radio hosting the Behind-the-scenes stage has the feeling of hometown boys make good; after all, they are one of us!

I will post when I can, but hoping not to have much down time.

If you are attending, who knows, maybe we will meet in a line somewhere. Until then, May the Force be with you!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

A Tribute in Phthalo Blue

Today I mourn a friend and celebrate a life. A life that burned in beauty for too short a time.

One month ago today, my dear friend Rita Finn, the extremely talented author of the phthalo-blue blog, passed away unexpectedly. She was only 46 years old. Since the moment I got that awful news, I have been reeling. In many ways, without Rita's encouragement and support, I would not have been writing this blog for as long as I have, even if my frequency of posts has diminished. My emotions and thoughts have been jumbled since her passing, so as I try and honor her, please excuse my stream of consciousness writing. A style, I might add, she seemed particularly fond of.

I have known Rita since my freshman year of high school, where we were in the same class. I was a shy, nerdy, awkward kid. I had a hard time talking to people. But Rita I liked instantly. She had a way of looking at people and making them feel accepted for who they were. She always seemed truly interested in people. Those were traits that never left her and only seemed to grow over the years. For a time she dated my best friend Steve and that gave me the opportunity to get to know her even more. She had a way of smiling at you and you felt that smile was for you. She was one of the people that actually made high school enjoyable.

Rita was an artist. That was clear. Art permeated her entire being. So it was no surprise when she went to art school in Boston. As it so often happens in life, people lose track. There was the occasional letter from her describing her life, but as life got more and more in the way, letters between us became less frequent. "I will write tomorrow," goes through your head until one day there is no tomorrow in which to write. I wish now I had tried harder to keep in touch. Rita was a person worth keeping in touch with.

My memory fails me as to how we reconnected. It might have been through classmates.com or some such thing. Facebook would come later. Regardless, we did reconnect and took great joy in catching up with each other. Almost daily emails followed. Sometimes short, sometimes long and rambling. We talked about our lives, about books, movies, politics, whatever we were in a mood to share. Rita sent me pictures of some of her artwork. I sent her some of the stories I was writing. Her feedback was always well thought out, humorous and encouraging. I just loved looking at her artwork. When I decided to paint my kitchen and living room, I described to her what I wanted to do, how I wanted the rooms to feel. It was her impeccable style and taste that helped lead to the colors that still adorn those walls. I still have all of the emails we sent over the years and have been re-reading them this last month. I am glad that I kept them, but at the same time they are a reminder of what we have lost and it hurts.

We also both loved the television show '24'. During the season we would both email each other as soon as the episode was done to discuss what had just happened and what we thought would happen
next. It was as much fun as I have ever had watching a TV show.

Rita began her blog before I started mine. I cannot begin to describe how much she encouraged me when I mentioned starting my own blog. I always knew I could count on her to leave a comment, or drop me an email telling me how much she enjoyed what I had done. I for one was so envious of her blog. She would tell me she was not a writer, but she was wrong. Where I often feel I ramble and not even particularly well, there was an elegance to her writing. The right words just seemed to flow from her and onto the page. That, coupled with her artwork and amazing photographs, always left me in awe and wishing that I had it within me to be able to create as she did. We spent much time helping each other attempt to grow our readership. She helped me navigate Feedburner. She was my blog's only Digg. I know without a doubt that if it had not been for her help, I would have given up on this within the first three months. But she made me feel like what I was writing was worth reading.

One time Rita was describing strangely scented candles in a series of emails. A week later, a leather scented candle showed up at my door. I still have it.

Another time she sent me a small piece of board on which she had painted a maple leaf. It felt so Vermont. It sits next to my desk, one of my most valued possessions.

My favorite comment that Rita left on here: "The letter Q is simply funny. Why is that?"

Rita was born one day before me. She was June 20th and I am the 21st. She once said to me, "The best people are born in June."

For the life of me, I cannot remember what year it was when I last saw Rita in person. I believe it was around 2010. She was back in Vermont for a visit, around Labor Day I believe. We made plans to get together for dinner and drinks. We ate out on the deck at the East Side Restaurant in Newport. It was the waning days of summer and it was a beautiful evening to sit there. We caught up on life, talked about old friends and where they were now, discussed books we had read, talked '24', and mostly we laughed. Those were some of the most fun hours that I have ever spent. I wish more than anything that I had thought to bring a camera so that I would now have at least one picture of her and I.

I realize I could go on and on and on. For those who knew Rita, you already know how special she was. How she could make people feel. You know the beauty she brought to the world. For those who were never lucky enough to meet her, I just hope that I have, in some small, stumbling way, made you aware of the wonderful person that this earth was lucky enough to have on it for much too short a time. Whether you know it or not, the world is diminished for having lost her. Yet, at the same time, is more colorful and beautiful for having had her in it. I still can't believe she is gone. What I wouldn't give for one more email.

Her blog is still there. Please, go and read her words, see her photos and take a moment to celebrate such a life. http://phthalo-blue.blogspot.com/

God, I miss my friend so much.












Thursday, November 6, 2014

WE HAVE A TITLE!!!!!!



StarWars.com just released that principal photography has wrapped on Star Wars: The Force Awakens! I personally love this, as I grew up with the original trilogy where the only time you saw the episode number was in the opening crawl. So for me it was never Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes back, it was just The Empire Strikes Back. I feel this move fits the film nicely in the OT mold.

December 2015 cannot get here fast enough!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Road to Celebration

One of the best and most fun experiences of my life took place in Orlando, Florida back in August of 2010 and that experience was Star Wars Celebration V. Between the panels, meeting the celebrities, the cool stuff I brought back, the trip to Disney and meeting new friends, it is a time I think back on often.

When Star Wars Celebration VI came around in 2012 and I wasn't able to go, I will admit I was a moping mess those whole four days. Sometimes it is easier when you don't know what you are missing.

So when Star Wars Celebration Anaheim was announced to take place in April of 2015, I vowed to somehow make it there. Especially since 2015 is the year we will see Star Wars Episode VII... can you imagine how crazy this Celebration will be? The fact that it is in California does make it more expensive. When I looked at the "official" hotels, the price per night was crazy at almost $200 a night! The economy is still not treating me well and I quickly became discouraged. But I have since found some more reasonably priced hotels that are near the Anaheim Convention Center. Flights are also not too bad right now. So I just need to commit and do it since I know it will be an experience like no other!

So this blog will be the story of how I (hopefully) make it to Celebration Anaheim. If any of you dear readers are going, have tips for finding cheap rooms near the convention center or want to make a cash donation to help me get there (Ha! Just kidding) please leave a comment.

May the Force Be With You!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A Thank You To Obi-Wan

There was a bright spot yesterday among the dark clouds that was the cancellation of The Clone Wars; the autographed picture from James Arnold Taylor that I won from RebelForce Radio arrived yesterday. It seemed somewhat fitting to receive an awesome Obi-Wan picture on a day where The Clone Wars was foremost in my thoughts. Obi-Wan has always been my favorite character and I have been a huge fan of the work James has done with the character. So the two combined cheered me up on a day where I was feeling pretty down.

A huge Thank You to James for not only signing the picture, but for all the wonderful work he has done bringing Obi-Wan to life. An equally huge Thank You to Jason and Jimmy Mac at RebelForce Radio for not only picking my review, but for the continued excellence in Star Wars podcasting that they provide week in and week out. RebelForce Radio really is my only source for the Force! You guys really are the best.

May the Force be with you all.




Monday, March 11, 2013

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

As I sit and write this, a mix of emotions are still flowing through me; anger, sadness and frustration. Earlier today, Disney announced that they were canceling Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Many of you will say, so what? It's just a cartoon. Let me explain why it matters to me.

Anyone who knows me or has read this blog knows that I am, above all else, a die-hard Star Wars fan. From the moment I first saw it as a 9 year old in 1977, I have been hooked. I enjoyed the prequels, though they never grabbed me as the original trilogy did. So I was a bit skeptical when Lucasfilm announced a new television show set in the time period between Episodes II and III. A TV show? Anakin has a padawan? What kind of weirdness is George up to now? Still, it was new Star Wars and considering the movies had ended, I was willing to give it a shot.

The movie premiered with much fanfare. There was a midnight madness event at Toys r Us, which my son and I went to, that being the only one we ever had the opportunity to attend. We started getting swept up in a wave of excitement that I had not felt in a long time

So when the Clone Wars movie came out, my son and I headed out to the theater. That is when a funny thing happened; it was actually good! The animation was pretty cool, the voice acting was amazing (Side note: To this day, I still say Matt Lanter is a better Anakin Skywalker than Hayden Christensen ever thought of being!) and I actually found myself enjoying it, maybe even more than I enjoyed some of the actual prequels. Suddenly, I was excited for this new TV show and it did not disappoint.

The Clone Wars quickly became appointment television for my son and I. Every Friday night we were eagerly in front of the television, waiting to see what new treat was in store for us. Then after we would talk about what we saw. What we liked, what we didn't, what we thought was going to happen next and what we wanted to see happen. My son was getting older, changing in ways neither of us could have foreseen and the Clone Wars was what we bonded over. We both liked Ahsoka (though we were happy when she stopped calling Anakin "Skyguy") and it was captivating to watch the character evolve, with much of the credit going to the brilliant Ashley Eckstein who had the unenviable task of voicing a character who, in lesser hands, could have been annoying. Instead she made us care about Ahsoka, to the point of worrying about her fate because, as we all know, Anakin had no Padawan in Episode III.

The rest of the cast were equally brilliant. I could write an entire post on the brilliance that is James Arnold Taylor. Over time, his Obi-Wan Kenobi has become the voice I hear when I think of Obi-Wan. Catherine Taber was simply amazing as Padme, bringing a depth to the character that wasn't touched on in the films. You began to understand Padme thanks to her. Tom Kane's Yoda was so good, I wasn't sure if it was Frank Oz or not! And Dee Bradley Baker did a most amazing thing; he made us care about the clones. They were not nameless, faceless soldiers. They each had a personality, they each became an individual and we cared about them. How he could give distinct personalities to beings who all sound alike is beyond me and I am in awe of his talent.

The cast of the Clone Wars became so important to us, that meeting many of them at Star Wars Celebration V was more exciting than meeting the actors that had been in the actual movie trilogies. The cast actually cared about the fans and took time to talk with us. My favorite memory was meeting James Arnold Taylor at the Force.net party and him taking the time to talk to me. My son was having his face painted at the time and was on the other side of the room. James asked me who else I was there with and when I told him my son, he said "Let's go say hi!" and proceeded to head across the room. Until the day I die, I will never forget the look on my son's face when James walked up, stood in front of him and began talking to him as Obi-Wan, then switched to Johnny Test. He then proceeded to bring us over to meet Matt Lanter. On the convention floor, we had the good fortune to run into the man who brought it all together; supervising director Dave Filoni. Dave is truly a fan of Star Wars and his encyclopedic knowledge is well known. He was kind enough to stop and talk to us and even have a picture taken. It is rare to meet such kind people in the world, but the entire cast and crew that we met were just that great.

I know I am prattling on and could go on much longer about all the great experiences I have had because of the Clone Wars. But I tell you all this so you can understand how angry and devastated I felt today when I read that Disney had canceled the show. Many of us were somewhat apprehensive when Disney bought Lucasfilm. But many people said not to worry, that Disney had been hands off with Marvel, that things would be fine. They announced Episode VII, so things were going to be great. Then, as if Order 66 had been given,   many of the things we loved began to fall. First the 3-D release of Episodes II and III were postponed. Okay, that made sense, they want to focus on the next trilogy. But then the Clone Wars completed what was, without a doubt, their best season yet. It left you wanting more! But there was already a disturbance in the Force. Despite being called Chicken Little by people who knew no better, Jimmy Mac from RebelForce Radio began to sound the alarm that the show was in danger. He urged us to write letters, to let the suits at Disney know how much the show meant to us. Many of us wrote, tweeted, e-mailed and signed online petitions. But all to no avail. Much like the clones cutting down Jedi, Disney axed the Clone Wars and Star Wars Detours in one press release. And just like that, our hearts sank.

Which leads me to where I am now. I am furious at Disney for taking away the Clone Wars when it was in it's prime. The show had never looked better, the stories never better. They are taking away something that means so much to me and my family. Taken away, not for lack of ratings, but because it didn't fit in with some corporate suits marketing plan. Despite saying we will see more Clone Wars, Disney has proven, in my mind, that they don't care about the fans. They have become the Empire. I am wishing George had never sold out.

I am also sad. Sad that I will not have the Clone Wars to look forward to every Saturday morning. That I won't be able to watch it and discuss it with my daughter. That I won't get to hear the brilliant cast perform any longer. Sad that something was taken away that didn't need to be.

So that is why the Clone Wars is much more than a cartoon to me. I wish I was writing about the amazing season finale and was speculating about where Ahsoka goes next. Now I am just sad that I may never know. I am sorry this posting has gone on for so long, but this show meant something to me and I hope that, in some small way, I paid tribute to it in the way it deserves.

May the Force be with you all.

                                              With James Arnold Taylor and Matt Lanter


                                           The cast of The Clone Wars at the Force.net party


                                                               With Catherine Taber


                                                                    With Dave Filoni