One month ago today, my dear friend Rita Finn, the extremely talented author of the phthalo-blue blog, passed away unexpectedly. She was only 46 years old. Since the moment I got that awful news, I have been reeling. In many ways, without Rita's encouragement and support, I would not have been writing this blog for as long as I have, even if my frequency of posts has diminished. My emotions and thoughts have been jumbled since her passing, so as I try and honor her, please excuse my stream of consciousness writing. A style, I might add, she seemed particularly fond of.
I have known Rita since my freshman year of high school, where we were in the same class. I was a shy, nerdy, awkward kid. I had a hard time talking to people. But Rita I liked instantly. She had a way of looking at people and making them feel accepted for who they were. She always seemed truly interested in people. Those were traits that never left her and only seemed to grow over the years. For a time she dated my best friend Steve and that gave me the opportunity to get to know her even more. She had a way of smiling at you and you felt that smile was for you. She was one of the people that actually made high school enjoyable.
Rita was an artist. That was clear. Art permeated her entire being. So it was no surprise when she went to art school in Boston. As it so often happens in life, people lose track. There was the occasional letter from her describing her life, but as life got more and more in the way, letters between us became less frequent. "I will write tomorrow," goes through your head until one day there is no tomorrow in which to write. I wish now I had tried harder to keep in touch. Rita was a person worth keeping in touch with.
My memory fails me as to how we reconnected. It might have been through classmates.com or some such thing. Facebook would come later. Regardless, we did reconnect and took great joy in catching up with each other. Almost daily emails followed. Sometimes short, sometimes long and rambling. We talked about our lives, about books, movies, politics, whatever we were in a mood to share. Rita sent me pictures of some of her artwork. I sent her some of the stories I was writing. Her feedback was always well thought out, humorous and encouraging. I just loved looking at her artwork. When I decided to paint my kitchen and living room, I described to her what I wanted to do, how I wanted the rooms to feel. It was her impeccable style and taste that helped lead to the colors that still adorn those walls. I still have all of the emails we sent over the years and have been re-reading them this last month. I am glad that I kept them, but at the same time they are a reminder of what we have lost and it hurts.
We also both loved the television show '24'. During the season we would both email each other as soon as the episode was done to discuss what had just happened and what we thought would happen
next. It was as much fun as I have ever had watching a TV show.
My memory fails me as to how we reconnected. It might have been through classmates.com or some such thing. Facebook would come later. Regardless, we did reconnect and took great joy in catching up with each other. Almost daily emails followed. Sometimes short, sometimes long and rambling. We talked about our lives, about books, movies, politics, whatever we were in a mood to share. Rita sent me pictures of some of her artwork. I sent her some of the stories I was writing. Her feedback was always well thought out, humorous and encouraging. I just loved looking at her artwork. When I decided to paint my kitchen and living room, I described to her what I wanted to do, how I wanted the rooms to feel. It was her impeccable style and taste that helped lead to the colors that still adorn those walls. I still have all of the emails we sent over the years and have been re-reading them this last month. I am glad that I kept them, but at the same time they are a reminder of what we have lost and it hurts.
We also both loved the television show '24'. During the season we would both email each other as soon as the episode was done to discuss what had just happened and what we thought would happen
next. It was as much fun as I have ever had watching a TV show.
Rita began her blog before I started mine. I cannot begin to describe how much she encouraged me when I mentioned starting my own blog. I always knew I could count on her to leave a comment, or drop me an email telling me how much she enjoyed what I had done. I for one was so envious of her blog. She would tell me she was not a writer, but she was wrong. Where I often feel I ramble and not even particularly well, there was an elegance to her writing. The right words just seemed to flow from her and onto the page. That, coupled with her artwork and amazing photographs, always left me in awe and wishing that I had it within me to be able to create as she did. We spent much time helping each other attempt to grow our readership. She helped me navigate Feedburner. She was my blog's only Digg. I know without a doubt that if it had not been for her help, I would have given up on this within the first three months. But she made me feel like what I was writing was worth reading.
One time Rita was describing strangely scented candles in a series of emails. A week later, a leather scented candle showed up at my door. I still have it.
Another time she sent me a small piece of board on which she had painted a maple leaf. It felt so Vermont. It sits next to my desk, one of my most valued possessions.
My favorite comment that Rita left on here: "The letter Q is simply funny. Why is that?"
Rita was born one day before me. She was June 20th and I am the 21st. She once said to me, "The best people are born in June."
For the life of me, I cannot remember what year it was when I last saw Rita in person. I believe it was around 2010. She was back in Vermont for a visit, around Labor Day I believe. We made plans to get together for dinner and drinks. We ate out on the deck at the East Side Restaurant in Newport. It was the waning days of summer and it was a beautiful evening to sit there. We caught up on life, talked about old friends and where they were now, discussed books we had read, talked '24', and mostly we laughed. Those were some of the most fun hours that I have ever spent. I wish more than anything that I had thought to bring a camera so that I would now have at least one picture of her and I.
I realize I could go on and on and on. For those who knew Rita, you already know how special she was. How she could make people feel. You know the beauty she brought to the world. For those who were never lucky enough to meet her, I just hope that I have, in some small, stumbling way, made you aware of the wonderful person that this earth was lucky enough to have on it for much too short a time. Whether you know it or not, the world is diminished for having lost her. Yet, at the same time, is more colorful and beautiful for having had her in it. I still can't believe she is gone. What I wouldn't give for one more email.
Her blog is still there. Please, go and read her words, see her photos and take a moment to celebrate such a life. http://phthalo-blue.blogspot.com/
God, I miss my friend so much.
